Selfish

Or, learning the balance of selfishness.

I believe that treating yourself well is extremely important. Even to the point of being somewhat selfish at times. Certainly nothing over the top, but perhaps choosing the bigger brownie when there are only two left is an okay thing to do.

I've been selfish. I've been extremely selfish since my exhusband moved out. I spent over 6 years catering to his every need. I was forgotten. I was neglected to the extreme maximum. By myself and him. So when he was no longer in the picture I started living life for ME.

I've realized now that alot of the time that just gave me license to be a bitch. To be pushy and bossy. I'm certainly not a horrible person, but I could definitely use some fine tuning in this area. All of that is over and done with. It's time for me to close the door completely, grow past it and start treating people, in particular the wonderful man who is now in my life, with a little more respect.

Some days I feel like I treat him the way my ex treated me. I've become what I hate. I'm speaking to extremes here of course. It's the underlying dynamic that needs work. Personal internal work on my part so that my actions and motives will morph into what I would like them to be. And what Honey most certainly deserves.

Anyway, my point is the selfishness has been catered to enough. It's been almost 3 years since he moved out. I treat myself very well. I give myself a Belly Dance class and a college class. I treat myself to material things from time to time. I eat better and dress better, for me and no one else.

That's plenty. The attitude needs shifting.