I have so much to blog about I don’t even know where to start.
I know, I’ll start by saying that so far this year has been pretty darn good. Even though I’ve been busting my ass at work (more than normal) and I’m tired and burned out by what I’ve been doing there the last 3 weeks, I’m still in high spirits most of the time.
On Jan 5th I woke up to have an epiphany. I was suddenly able to talk back to the voice inside my head that nagged at me and called me ugly names and made me feel bad about myself. Being overweight that is.
Out of no where this other voice came and just shut her the hell up and then whispered this great truth to me. She said “Even if you buy good walking shoes, your feet will still hurt and you won’t be able to walk the 3-Day in October. You need to loose some weight and get healthy too.”
Later that day I joined an online group to help set a meal plan and fitness plan. Mostly so I’d know what I should be eating. It’s hard to know what to buy and what to make that’s good for you if you don’t have guidelines, or you’ve not done it before. Both plans have been pretty easy to stick to, but mostly it’s because of that other stronger voice in my head that shuts down the bad one.
Even just today the mean voice almost convinced me to run through Jack-in-the-Box drive through. Then the other voice came in and said “Subway, Subway, Subway, Subway, Subway, Subway.” I went to Subway. That’s happened 5 or 6 times I the last 2 weeks, and I’ve not succumbed.
Considering I was a 2 to 3 drive through meals a day girl, the fact that I’ve not had ANY fast food in 2 weeks is pretty amazing. I feel fantastic about this.
They always say you can’t change your eating and fitness habits unless you really want to and that you have to do it for yourself. It’s so true. And you don’t know it till you’re doing it. Until you can actually shut down that bad voice and make the right choice.
This isn’t a diet. It’s not a goal to “get into a bikini by summer.” It’s also not a resolution, just a coincidence that it’s the beginning of a new year. It’s a life change to make better choices, to be healthy and to be fit. I’m finally doing it and I don’t foresee falling off the wagon this time.
Last week some time I realized the day I had my epiphany and made this change was exactly 10 years to the day that I started dating my ex-husband. I just found that interesting. The moment I chose to date him lead me down a 10 year path to self abuse through neglect and bad choices.
10 years later, to the day… I’m finally free from that crutch.
