Brain Dump

This is sorta old news, but it’s still an issue that’s floating around my head that I’ve not quite figured out how to deal with.

2 months ago, wow, exactly 2 months ago today, I went to my 10 year high school class reunion. I blogged about the outcome of it already, so I won’t rehash, however, I didn’t mention anything about this one particular thing that happened.

I attended the reunion with my honey and my best friend since 3rd grade and her honey. She and I have been friends for over 20 years now and when we were still in grade school there was this other girl we were friends with. The 3 of us were stuck to each other like glue. We did everything together, always. In and out of school, we were quite the trio. This third person, lets call her Mandy, and the girl I’ve been friends with forever can be Sandy.

Anyway, Mandy’s childhood was tainted because her mother has a terrible case of OCD - packrat style. The woman never threw anything away. People weren’t allowed to go into Mandy’s house, and they couldn’t even open the front door all the way. It’s actually very terrible and sad. Well this leads me to the reason Mandy lived with Sandy for a short time. They had to move. The city came and made them leave the house and during that time, Mandy went to live with Sandy. I believe they lived together for about a year. Well, this was all during our solid trio, so them living together was pretty awesome for the two of them.

Okay, so there’s some back story. Here’s a little more. Mandy is cookey. She’s silly and crazy and fun. Sandy and I loved her dearly, but as kids do, teased her about being so silly. We occasionally called her retarded. And we’d all laugh and go on about our business. You know, being BEST friends and doing EVERYTHING together for YEARS. Laughing, playing, confiding, and getting into trouble. You name it.

So, years pass and we grow up and just as things happen, Mandy didn’t quite click with Sandy and I anymore. So the trio became just two. Mandy went on to make new friends, as did Sandy and I, but Sandy and I still hung out together. Life goes on, blah blah blah, Sandy and I see each other every few months, we hear about or see Mandy and how she’s doing a few times over the last 10 years and BAM, here we all are at the reunion.

Sandy and I didn’t expect to see Mandy. It was a bit strange, but a pleasant surprise I’d say. That was until Mandy introduced us to her husband and in front of our men, said “Yea, these are my “friends” (she said with quotation finger motion) that emotionally scarred me by calling me retarded all the time.”

What?! Are you serious?! Sandy and I were stunned. Mandy laughed it off, and candy coated the rest of the conversation and evening with mock niceness. Does she really think that? I understand that a lot of the time, as children, we do things that hurt other people and don’t even realize it. But I’m having a real hard time with this one. I honestly cannot believe that the few times we said that to her, emotionally scarred her life.

And this is where I get angry.

1. I’ve seen Mandy several times since we graduated. Also, we continued to go to school together for several years when we weren’t “best friends” any longer. Not once have I ever heard her hint or say anything about that bothering her.

2. How dare she confront this in the manner that she did. That was our introduction to her husband! Completely blind siding us. Considering Mandy NEVER hinted to this scarring before, we had absolutely no way of knowing this is how she viewed us, or how she felt.

3. She’s completely discounting 10 years of best friendship. Has she forgotten? Does she not acknowledge 10 YEARS of spending nights, and birthday parties, and summers at my grandmother’s lake house, church youth trips and functions?

If she’s forgotten all of those things and doesn’t remember our trio as being a wonderful thing, then I’m just as badly hurt as she’s stated she is about being emotionally scarred.

Sandy and I have told each other that we very much want to get her on the phone, or meet up for coffee and find out what’s really going on. Find out if she really has forgotten all of these things and truly views, what Sandy and I believed to be, a really wonderful childhood friendship.