Premonition

My dreams weren't just dreams. They were premonitions. I WAS the only girl at my class reunion who's gotten fat.

I didn't have that good of a time. I'm glad I went though, otherwise I would have regretted not going. But it was too expensive, and the food wasn't good and we were in an area WAY too small. It was apparently supposed to be outside, but it was too cold. So the back up room was where we were, and it was tiny. I don't know which planner thought it wouldn't be cold in mid-Nov to plan something outside.

Most of the people that showed up were the popular kids, and they still didn't give anyone "beneath" them the time of day. It's amazing how much DOESN'T change in 10 years.

I feel I've changed alot. And not just physically. I feel stronger and more aware. I'm more upfront and nice, and not such a wallflower anymore. I know what I want most of the time and I don't hesitate to go get it.

I did see one person I was glad to see and got his email. So maybe we'll be able to keep in touch a little better now, even though he no longer lives close.

I found it annoying and somewhat humorous that the conversation was mostly shallow and alot of the time, candy coated bullshit. I guess it's a good thing my hair is shorted so people could actually comment on how I looked without saying "OMG you've gained 80lbs!" I heard, "You look great!" all over the place, except directed at me. All I got was "You cut your hair!"

Whatever. I know, I know, I'm quite wrapped up in my own weight problem. Probably to the point where I read more into crap than is really there. But I swear I heard a hint of pity in someone's voice... which just makes me angry because I'm not a sad case anymore. I was 3 years ago when I was in the pit, but I'm not anymore. Other than being overweight, I'm in better shape than I've ever been! I'm happier than I've ever been, and stronger. I'm not just some poor fat sap.

I could go on all day....