I was dying.
My soul was tapped and I could give no more. When I woke every morning, I woke to a new day full of struggles, fights and stress. I woke to be an alarm clock, a maid, a cook, a mother, a whore. I was everything but Me. He used me and gave nothing in return. I had become nothing but a shell. But even a shell is cherished by someone. It's beauty, the sound of the ocean inside. I wasn't.
When you are in a situation like that, you never see it as bad as it really is. Looking back I see how incredibly impossible it was. There is a reason I'm able to look back on it however.
One day, from the bottom of The Pit, I caught a glimpse of sunlight. I looked up, covering my eyes from the bright rays and saw the shadow of a face smiling down at me. I was weak and dirty, tired and sore, lying at the bottom, and yet this face smiled at me as though I was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen. He came to visit me often. Telling me stories and tales of the wonderful things that were up where he was. He told me I was wonderful and beautiful. I scoffed at him, thinking how in the world could that be possible? But he was persistent.
Soon I found the strength to stand. I straightened my clothes and dusted my self off the best I could. Although still in The Pit, I welcomed the day, excited to see his face and hear his voice, his encouragement. I became stronger every day. Strength enough to really begin to despise The Pit. To realize where I was and how badly I wanted out. I fought to climb, gouging my fingernails into the dirt walls. Grabbing roots, using ever bit of strength I had to pull my self to the top.
As I neared the top, his smiling face beamed with delight and his big strong hand came down to me and grasped my wrist. He held me strong and gave me leverage to pull myself out completely.
I ran from The Pit, never to return. But I keep the stinking scent of that rotten dirt in my mind so that I will not ever forget the lesson I learned.
You were my saving grace, Tony. My sunshine.
Thank you.
2 comments:
Great writing, Sarah! You nearly made me cry. Nearly, I said!! LOL! Tony was a gift to you, heaven-sent. Congratulations on getting out of the pit. I wish you both happiness.
Keep writing, girl. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings.
Funny thing, Dale. We aren't a couple any longer. Dearest friends though. Funny how life works out. :)
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